eRiCa-isms

how do i know when i've done one?

it ususally starts with...

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT!"

what DEFINES an eRiCa-ism?

i think the common denominators are:

1. stupid

2. funny

3. mildly dangerous or with some consequence?!

i had one today~

and i thought i'd share!

today, i had my cell phone in the back pocket of my jeans (good place for it, right?) i thought so! so~ i'm outside with Franky, Copper, & ROxy~ they are playing...i'm PLANTING. i've been drinking coffee all morning (because that is one of my LoVeS!) ~ and, consequently, i have to pEE~! so~ i throw off my gardening gloves~ & run in the house...unzip...pull down my pants...SPLASH!?!?!

followed by...

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT!"

i jumped up & SCREAMED in horror as my dear sweet cell phone gurgled for help at the bottom of the toilet! (it had gone in the hole~ i could BARELY see it!)

now, i know what you're thinking...and NO~ there were no BODILY WASTE byproducts in the toilet yet~ THANKFULLY!!!

so...needless to say~ it's NOT HAPPY!!! it is currently in 3 parts~ DESPERATELY trying to dry out....

OH OH oH!

here's how you know, or I know, when i have committed an eRiCa-ism~

i find myself googling "cell phone water"!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT!

want to know another one i did recently?

this one is HILARIOUS!

my regular morning routine~ i went outside with my smoke & my coffee to take the dogs for a pee.

while outside i:

1. throw the ball for them

2. drink my coffee

3. smoke my cig

& 4. talk (on the above mentioned cell phone :) to my cupcake angel

so~...i'm on the phone, talking, drinking coffee, throwing the ball for the dogs,...smoking....WAIT! i'm NOT smoking! WHERE did i put my cig??? i'm looking, i'm looking, i'm looking......can't find it! now, cupcake angel is getting a play-by-play over the phone, as i repeatedly say, "where the f@%& did i put my smoke?" ~ while spinning in circles on the grass~ looking EVERYWHERE!...no cig!

oh! i know! when i'm heading out the door...with a coffee in one hand & the dog's ball in the other~ i tuck my smoke BEHIND my ear~ (which, by the way, cupckake boy tells me is EXTREMELY IRRESISTABLE & SUPER-SEXY-HOT! :)

he he he

so, as i'm saying this to him, and reaching up for my ear, i gasp, "it wouldn't be behind my ear~ IT'S LIT! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!?! Dear God, please tell me I didn't tuck a LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND MY EAR?!?!?!?!"

wait....

wait....

here it comes....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT!!!

yes, friends, i did! ...and needless to say, i singed, cinged my hair! (how do you spell that word? the ones that means not quite burnt, but, melty & shrinky & smelly!?)

i will tell you one thing~

whenever i do an 'eRiCa-ism' ~

i ALWAYS always ALWAYS find myself

LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!!

funny, eh? tell me something stupid you did?!?!

it's good to share!

i NEED more LAUGHTER :)

don't we all???

peace.LOVE.&cupcakes.

e