it's raining, it's pouring, ...it's anything but boring!

when it rains...
it FREAKING POURS!!!

and in my life,
it's god damn raining!!!
CATS & DOGS
(& bats & mice!)
...and broken bones :(

where do I start? how about Brittle? our little gray kitty we got in January?
well~ she got sick. throwing up, not eating, not drinking, laying around, NOT being her spunky little self~
hence, a visit to the VET!
$140 later, she's better, but needs to be fixed & vaccinated!
$340 later... she's done.
THEN, she decided to climb 30 feet up a pine tree & not come down for 3 days~
which required 3 people, a 30 foot ladder, a basket, a rope, and a full weekend to get her down!


...........inhale.......
...exhale.........
next pet, please step forward...

ROXY! our 6 month old chocolate lab puppy~
shaking her head, scratching her ears....like CRAZZZZY!
hence, ANOTHER visit to the VET!
$140 later, we leave with medication for her ear infection!
ok.
...breeeeeeeeathe....

(somewhere in here my water got shut off too :)
that was LOOOOOVELY :)

what was next?
oh yes!
holy shit-sicles batman!!!
yes ~ BAT-man!
so, i wake up~ & go to shut my sliding glass door ~
& i almost step on this THING!
I am all alone in the house (so I TALK to myself!)
"WHAT is THAT? a HAIRBALL? (Gloria, our long-haired cat, hacks up these uber-disgusting hairballs that closely resemble a dead, regurgetated mouse!)
as I get closer...

"NO! it's not a hairball ~ what the fudge-cracker IS THAT THING? a dead MOUSE???
it's at the foot of my bed, and about 2 feet away from my sleeping (& apparently VERRRRY clueless 13 year old golden retreiver, Copper!)
"NO! It's NOT a mouse! HOLY FUCK!!! It's A BAT!!!!!
What the FUCK are you doing in my house?!?!
WHY are you DEAD???
WHY ARE YOU ON MY FLOOR????
HOW did you get into my HOUSE?!?!?!"

(yes, I am screaming these words to this little, creepy, dead bat on my floor!)
he did NOT answer me~
but he TOOOOOOOOTALLY creeped me out!!!
oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
......inha..........
FUCK!
.....inhaaaaa.......
what the FUCK!?!?
...inhale.
holy SHIT!!!!
....inhale......................
shake. shake. shake.
try not to throw up.
try not to fall down, cuz i'm so freaking freaked out i can hardly stand up!!!
FUCK!!!
fucking bat!

i still don't know how he got in...
open door, open window, cats, ....
freaking freaky shit-balls!!!
............exhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.....
OH MY GOD!
(took me a while to get over this one!)

the next day there was a dead mouse on my doorstep~
but, that, has become just about as common as finding dirty laundry under the couch :)
i don't even flinch anymore!
brave me :)
ok.
next?

oh! i ALMOST forgot!
tuesday night, Clara thought she would do her regular old "Spiderman Jump" off the top bunk~
BUT~
she SLIPPED!
SCREAMING!
SCREAMING!
and MORE FREAKING SCREAMING!!!
4 hours in the emergency room (till 2am!)
and she has this lovely light blue cast!
(i KNOW it's sideways! i can't figure out how 2 turn it :)
BROKE her arm!
no swimming :(
and i suppose she'll be wearing a plastic bag on her arm at the beach :(

then ~ Gloria~ our LONG-haired cat~
i THOUGHT she had some burr/sticker-type things matted in her fur, at the base of her tale~ i tried to look, but she HISSSSED profusely at me :(
so~ i let her be.
a few days later, in a swift movemont of fluff-blall going past me~
i GLIMPSED blood~
are you freaking kidding me???
again~ she would barely let me close enough to look~ (i still have the bloody scratchmarks on my hand to prove it!)
....
can you guess???
YES! so, here we all are, in the car~ AGAIN...
on the way to the VET...AGAIN!!!
the verdict?
she was BIT by SOMETHING...
cat, raccoon, coyote?
we consider her VERRRRRY lucky~ our cat before her, "FUR", was EATEN by a coyote in our freakin-frackin driveway for crap sakes!
SORT of funny~ her wound, is in the shape of a HEART!

even more odd~ this summer, the neighbor cat scratched her eye (almost OUT) ~ she almost lost it~ tore right through the cornea & pupil...
NOW, her pupil is shaped like a HEART!!!
strange & cute coincidence, eh?
her visit was $140...(i wonder if the vet people SEE my pain when I hand them my credit card for the 4th time this month?)
SURELY...they MUST :(

oh, let's see~ while we were at the vet with Gloria~ i asked the good doctor about Copper~ he's having "pooping" problems & had BLOOD in his poop :(
so, tests, tests, and more tests!
almost $500 today at the vet!

dear me. dear me.

so, the kids, in an effort to help me with the ever-insurmountable pile of vet bills~ are going to do a PET FUNDRAISER!!! They are drawing animal pictures & are going to sell them to help mama pay the bills! How adorable is THAT???

.....inhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.................

....exhale......

can somebody remind me how to breathe?

cause the breath has been knocked out of me & i'm feelin' a little freaking light-headed!?

day by day.

LOVE&peace.
e.

p.s. tomorrow morning, the kids & i are on "pee collection duty" for Copper & then have to drop his "sample" at the vet!
GOOD TIMES!!!

p.p.s. keep your eyes open for the PET FUNDRAISER art sale :)